Marjorie Taylor Greene, the GOP’s resident conspiracy theorist and part-time insurrection apologist, has somehow managed to land yet another undeserved position of power - this time as chair of the House Subcommittee on Digital Oversight of Government Entities (DOGE). Yes, the same woman who believes Jewish space lasers started wildfires is now in charge of a committee that, at least in theory, is supposed to ensure transparency and accountability in government operations. If you don’t find that hilarious, you haven’t been paying attention.

Medicaid is now officially on the chopping block. Along with SNAP. House Republicans, led by Mike Johnson, have announced their intentions to move forward with a mammoth one bill budget plan that will supposedly sweep up key elements of Donald Trump’s fiscal agenda, enact tax cuts for the rich, and raise the debt ceiling.

Well, folks, today is the day. Barring some last-minute act of divine intervention, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is set to be confirmed as the Secretary of Health and Human Services—because, apparently, we’ve collectively decided that public health should be overseen by a man who thinks vaccines are a globalist plot. That’s right, the guy who has spent decades undermining modern medicine, spreading misinformation, and embarrassing his own family is about to be in charge of health policy for the entire country. What could possibly go wrong?

The U.S. government has just dropped a cool $400 million on a fleet of armored Teslas, and, shockingly, not everyone is thrilled. At face value, it sounds like the feds are just making a sensible investment in high-tech, electric security vehicles. But, of course, there’s a slight catch: the company cashing in on this massive contract is Tesla, owned by none other than Elon Musk; who, by a completely wild coincidence, also happens to be serving in the administration. Nothing to see here, folks. Just your everyday, totally normal, definitely-not-a-conflict-of-interest government procurement deal.

Georgia Representative Earl “Buddfugger” Carter has introduced H.R. 1161 - a bill that would allow the Melon Felon to enter into negotiations to acquire Greenland and rename it “Red, White and Blueland.” This is not a headline from The Onion. This is an actual bill this crackpot introduced, in a ridiculous bid to be Orange Daddy’s favorite boy. Even with the abundance of ass kissers and shameless sycophants, it’s unlikely to go anywhere beyond its introduction, but I wouldn’t bet an obsolete penny against these whackadoodles. When bragging about this, Buddfugger said “America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White, and Blueland. President Trump has correctly identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority, and we will proudly welcome its people to join the freest nation to ever exist when our Negotiator-in-Chief inks this monumental deal.” 

From Nate McMurray, a must read and share it widely.  AN OPEN LETTER: DEMOCRACY LOST—NOW, THE ONLY QUESTION IS WHETHER WE CAN REVIVE IT. THIS IS MY SOLUTION—AND IT’S NOT AN EASY ONE.DEMOCRACY ON PAPER IS NOT ENOUGH

Well, well, well, here we are in 2025, and if you thought Donald Trump learned anything from his first term, you’d be sorely mistaken. The man who once treated executive orders like autographed headshots is at it again, scribbling his name on legally dubious decrees as if that alone makes them enforceable. But just like last time, the courts have been busy slapping down his nonsense, reminding him (again) that being president doesn’t mean you get to play dictator. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest legal flops from Trump’s second round of executive order buffoonery.

Oh, what a glorious future we would have if Elon Musk, the self-proclaimed genius and savior of humanity, took control of government agencies! Imagine the efficiency! The innovation! The sheer brilliance of running vital public institutions like a Twitter poll gone wrong. Who needs bureaucratic red tape when we could have policy decisions made in real-time, based on Musk’s latest mood swings or whatever sci-fi novel he’s currently obsessed with? It’s not like government agencies handle trivial things like national security, infrastructure, or public welfare; surely, theyd be better off in the hands of a man who once named his child X Æ A-12 or some shit.

Muskrump falsely claims that it’s a crime to publish the names of his partners-in-crime who have illegally seized access to the Treasury, Social Security, Medicare, and other personal data. In the words of Chandler Bing - “Could he be more wrong?!?!”

Buy Greenland. Make Canada our 51st state. Seize the Panama Canal. We’ve all heard these fantasies of a delusional felon hell bent on world domination. More ranting to distract from the coup-in-progress. Next up on his wishlist, Gaza.